This is a comment that was left on an earlier entry:  "Well, I don't think you are all that overweight unless you are like 3 feet tall! Are you 3 feet tall? Are you a very young person?? Most women look better with a few extra pounds, so quit tormenting yourself.  Once you forget about it, you will probably lose some weight. Walking is fantastic exercise and a great way to lose weight, better than starving yourself. "

I've been thinking about that comment, and with all due respect to the person who left that comment, I've decided to respond to it here, since I have no idea who this person is or how they found this journal.

"I don't think you are all that overweight..." As a matter of fact, yes, I am overweight - more than 100 pounds overweight, to be brutally honest.  I see no reason to lie about it; I mean, what would be the point of having this journal, if it wasn't to share my journey with other people having the same struggle? Lying about something so serious just doesn't make any sense to me (Lying, period, doesn't make any sense to me).

"Are you 3 feet tall? Are you a young person?" I understand that the person commenting may have been trying to offer a reminder that there is a connection between obesity and age (which is true). So, let's also offer a reminder that there are also medical issues which can come into play for people who are genuinely overweight.  Some people have glandular issues, while others are using medications which have the unwanted side effect of causing weight gain.  There are all kinds of reasons why someone is obese.

"Most women look better with a few extra pounds, so quit tormenting yourself."  Are you kidding me? This person is a woman; does she understand how offensive that sounds?  Maybe this person is trying to be supportive - and I hope to high heaven this is the case - but I have to be honest and say I was really offended by that comment when I first read it.  It took me awhile to calm down enough to be aware of my own reactions...  If you're going to be supportive, I think maybe a different choice of words would help...

"Once you forget about it, you will probably lose some weight."  I actually agree with this - to a point. The more we obsess about our weight, the greater the struggle becomes to peel off those layers.  I know this from personal experience, so I can attest to the truth of that statement.  What I'm hearing in those words is, "Just relax, and take things as they come." I can support and encourage that.

People who are not overweight don't - and can't - understand the mental and emotional impact obesity has on the person struggling with it.  I know I joke about my weight by calling myself a rolie-polie, all the time, but the hard reality is that I am like everyone else who's dealing with obesity.  I'm extremely insecure and self-conscious, I don't like to be out in public (our neighborhood kids really are brutal little assholes), I'm hyper-sensitive to comments like those I've replied to here, and I'm struggling with my eating disorder, which is triggered by comments like those I've replied to in this post.

This is the internet, and thus, no one has the benefit of seeing facial expressions or body language, or hearing the tone of a person's voice. All we have to help us convey our message is our words, and they must be chosen wisely and with a great deal of thought for how other people might hear them.  That old adage about words having power is more true than you might realize, and the effects can last a lifetime.

Suggesting that "Most women look better with a few extra pounds..." is NOT the way I personally would try to encourage another woman who's trying to peel off layers.  Actually, I wouldn't use those words to encourage anyone, female or male, simply because they sound insensitive at first glance.  And implying that a person is lying about being overweight - which is exactly how that first part of the comment sounded - is just not okay, especially when you don't even know that person.

I could go on and on about all of this, but I won't.  What I will do, is think more about this.  I think this is something that needs to be talked about further.

So, to the person who left that comment, thankyou for dropping by. You've given me something to ponder, and I sincerely appreciate that.  To my regular visitors, thanks for being here; it always makes my day to see that you've been by.